Who best to ask what a guy wants than a guy? Here are his thoughts…Guys let us know if you agree and girls let us know what you think.
So the holidays are slowly drifting behind us and it’s about time we all made our way back into reality.
If there is one thing I love about life; it has to be the part where we are in control of what we see, think and accept. Doesn’t sound right that you can think of what you want? Yes, I’d probably agree with you if I had no clue of the immense power and capacity of the human brain/mind.
It’s not circumstances, assets, people or place…….no; thoughts are the greatest determinants of our decisions.
Intimate relationships stretch way back into centuries when men and women first walked the earth. But I doubt there has ever been a more confusing time for either gender understanding each other than is the case today.
First, I will cuddle your curious mind with this – if by the end of this write up, you find that you agree with everything I wrote? You are not human OR You have no experience in the subject OR You are desperate OR You are not confident OR You have no clue to the diversity of men today.
I say this because; there are two kinds of guys in our specie: – There are BAD boys and GOOD men
And no, the difference is not exactly in the way they spend their Friday nights. So this piece won’t apply to both categories evenly.
Vice versa, if you don’t find any of the opinions below useful, you need to go back for more drinks at that bar where you tried ignorantly to drown the sorrow and pain from your broken heart.
Now that we are set; I will not go in any order, instead I will take them as they come to mind.
What are some of the misconceptions common female Einsteins this day think men want in any level of intimate relationship?
Thinking you have to come off as some “Jacqueline Nicole de Fleur” the anorexic French perfume model is not sexy at all. Please stress “at all” as strong and long as you can. Men are attracted to women who eat like they would on a good day. If you want a full meal, go for it. Forget what your “best friend” or roommate said during your prep talk before I picked you up for dinner. There’s a reason she has been single since you two became friends 6 years ago. Playing “familiar” with a Swiss salad you’ve never heard of in your life is not going to make us see you as an ivy-league lady. It literally translates to us, that you are not comfortable in the setting. Picture this; you are having dinner at a nice restaurant, with good food, fine wine, great scenery, and your date (us). Since you probably picked the restaurant, food and wine…..the only object left that could be making you uncomfortable is the company on the other end of the table, who ironically wants to believe he has brought you to a comfortable place. Like it or not, he can read it this way and a potentially good evening has silently started on a tensed note.
Leave him to read your mind from a distance
False. In fact you will be doing a lot by simply leaving a subtle hint in the air before we hit the check-out line.
Men understand they are expected to take charge. But no man (regardless of experience or confidence) wants to go all “blind” into a conversation. Even if it’s just a smile in his direction, a long enough stare, a warm blush, tuck some hair behind your ear……anything. Give him a hint that you are open to conversation while he struggles to pick the right seasoning for a meal he has no clue on how to prepare. Don’t let any fake dude tell you otherwise, no one likes the thought of rejection; some just take it better in stride than others.
Men want to always be in charge
True 50 – 60 years ago. But False today.
From my thousands of conversations with male friends, I can say that if there is one thing men fear more than the fear of rejection….it has to be the fear of leaving a woman below satisfied after what was supposed to be “steamy”. Yes, by convention, the man is expected to fill the role of pilot. But the 21st century man has come to see how “competent” a woman can be if given the green light to exercise her intuition during love making.
Regardless of how weird, crazy, unbelievable, or downright out of your “outdoor” character it may be, let him know exactly where the key to the “jungle you” is. He may be a genius, but we all know how IQ drops drastically as clothes hit the floor in a bedroom. You will be surprised how much he will loosen up just knowing more about you in this regard.
You start to look less beautiful as the relationship grows
False, until you start acting like it is true. And ‘True’ once you constantly quiz him about it.
Let’s take the 3rd grade approach to this. As men, we very likely wouldn’t be with you in the first place if we felt you were not beautiful in our eyes. We will admit, looks are important; in fact men use their eyes a lot – it’s just how they are wired. Different men have pretty distinct preferences in terms of beauty and being attractive; however, we all share one common conviction – a nagging or a woman with no confidence is not beautiful, regardless of the “Miss Universe” crown she walks around with. So don’t worry, we think you are gorgeous. For the love of heaven, that’s why we are with you and not the 10s of other women we interact with daily.
Reveal more and he will appreciate you more
I can’t even begin to underline how false this belief is. This notion is so false; it should be a crime punishable under law for those ladies caught holding it.
There is a time for everything. Seriously wearing bras that push your boobs so far up and falsely out, they are literally in your face is not exactly attractive.
Let me give you a lazy, light note, not hard or fast rule; if you can’t stand up erect, flex your neck so your head looks down and clearly see your toes, you have propped those boobs to far up. Okay, just kidding, but you get the story here.
Let’s face it; an attractive body is attractive even under a turtle neck top, or a flare gown. Yes, revealed legs do make a woman generally more attractive. But the key word here is “legs” not thighs. It’s not the age on your traveler’s passport, sometimes something as simple as your dress sense is what tells us what class you are in, mentally speaking. Dating a woman is fantastic, dating a girl is awesome, but dating a woman still trapped in a girl’s life is a mishap.
Men don’t like compliments
False. What’s true is “men don’t like overt compliments”. Yes, we prefer that you leave it in; a soft squeeze on our arms, unfasten and re-do a button on his shirt, peer at his hairline, or give the non-verbal “up-down-up-belt level look….and for a second forget to take out that one finger hanging loosely between your upper and lower set of teeth.
We “may” really have a hard time believing the verbal compliments. So leave it for the rare occasions.
Men are after the chase, so stretch it till a few minutes before Jesus comes
Fine, men love the chase. But making it a never ending rat race just puts the average, sane guy off at some point. It’s fun at the start, but eventually it gets old and you start to seem unattractive, like a girl or lady who’s not sure of what she wants.
Looks conquer confidence
True for the BAD boy. False for the GOOD man. Now the choice is yours here.
Let’s just for one second deceive ourselves that every man wants a slim woman, or that plus-size women don’t turn men on. That said, more than half the men in this our fictitious world would admit that they’d prefer a confident plus-size woman to an insecure run-way model. Beauty fades quickly as insecurity or low self-esteem starts to show.
Don’t believe otherwise, confidence is sexy – literally.
Make up is non-negotiable
False. Make up is accepted when we can still see you through it. Don’t obscure yourself with make-up. Fake tans (for Caucasians etc.) or just too much make up is horrible. No need to paint the truth, it is in no way attractive – disgusting even. I personally find that a number of women look best in basic make-up, and a handful are gorgeous in no make-up at all.
Though not entirely true I should say. But women might want to put this in a corner of their minds; that men generally interpret the amount of make-up to be inversely proportional to a woman’s self-confidence.
Men want you to love what they love
Honestly, we are okay if you love the things you love and we do vice versa. We don’t expect you to know who Rooney, Van Persie, Ronaldo or Messi is, we just wish that you choose a better time to bring up your surprise that your close girlfriend’s “long distant”, “in and out of alcohol”, “on and off in the relationship”, “no hint of a future together”, twitter obsessive”, “Facebook compulsive” boyfriend suddenly cheated on her.Not during the game we are watching….just bring it up during commercials, or half time (which is roughly 15 minutes); because 15 minutes is more than enough to snap you back to the signs we both saw all along.
Of course, it is pretty attractive to meet a woman that has some generally seen as “male interests”. But we can’t force this on you, because the idea of watching Fashion Police and E! is just frightening to us anyway.
Finally, women can take it from the “guys locker room talk”; we are absolutely not attracted to a woman that thinks a book by some “expert” has taught her everything about how we are wired.
Glad I could share this with you.
Is he right guys and ladies what do you think?
By Emmanuel Eluemelem Uwabor