Child bearing has become the next stage of life a married couple has to go through immediately after marriage, there are those who counts down for you and as a new wife, if you ever fall sick and complain, the first question your family would ask is “Abi it has entered?“(are you pregnant?) They don’t want to hear you have decided to wait or you are not ready. I remember when we just got married and said we were not ready to have kids yet, this conversation was met with a lot of binding and casting(rebuke!). To show how pregnancy is important here, it is even part of the prayer on your wedding day; that in nine months time, you would have a baby. No one cares, if that is what the couple wants. I can remember the thunderous Amen we heard on our wedding day from our parents and well wishers, when the Pastor said this prayers, while i am a woman of faith, I find this both interesting and amusing.
Most people decides to wait for one or two years but some people don’t decide to wait, they just cannot for some reasons bear kids at the time and they wait for the longest time without thinking of IVF, Surrogacy and adoption even though it has really helped some families to feel the joys of motherhood.
Has IVF, Surrogacy and Adoption been totally accepted by Nigerians? I remember going out with a friend and her mother and she goes, ‘Ha! with the way my age is going and i haven’t still found husband, i would just like to drop all my kids at once like triplet using IVF ” and immediately the rejection and prayers that followed made me fight to keep a straight face, and her mom went on to say, ‘you would give birth to real babies’ and with us correcting her, she corrected herself. I have had several experiences when people see triplet and first thing they say is ‘are they not IVF kids’ what does it matter? They are healthy kids right?
Surrogacy and Adoption are most times hidden especially when you haven’t had a child before, as for surrogacy, everyone goes hush hush because of fear that it might become the tag of that child when grown and when you say ‘I adopted a child “Especially in Nigeria, people still look at you with pity, like you still don’t have your own child.
Recently Gabriella Union just celebrated the birth of her child through Surrogacy and Michelle Obama opened up about her struggle with giving birth and how she went on to have her two girls through IVF and loads of people adopt kids. In a country where the method of birth Caesarean or Vaginal birth is still a topic of discussion for some people, i can hope that the ladies above has shed a light to everyone that it doesn’t matter how you become a mom, the joy’s of motherhood can be felt not only when you are the birth parent. There are so many mother’s who have been better mothers to a child they did not birth.
Surrogacy, IVF, Adoption are also miracles, does it really matter how you got your child?