imagesFB8LB6ZL We pray you never need these tips, but I will advice we all read this, you may render help through what you have learnt to a victim.   Rape is an invasive event of traumatic evil, it’s a crime of power,domination and control with the use of sex. You were victimized and now you are suffering, its has placed a scar on your life, perhaps more than one scar. And whenever you see the scar accidentally you begin to hate yourself. Your heart beat fast in fear on how to trust again, how to even love a man, how to undo this hurt. You aren’t alone I tell you. The mention of rape usually ignites fear in the minds of females in former times but recently, rape spans across single females, males(gay), married women, old women, young boys and girl and babies (child molestation). Some of you might be asking why should you read this article, after all u weren’t victimized, no one is saying you would be a victim someday, but what if you come across a rape victim someday, as a friend  or a spouse or a colleague and then they confide in you, how exactly can you help, even as a victim, you may be rendering a sub-standard advice out of the fact that you are still hurting. It could be that you have  kids, a baby, a cousin, a niece,  a neighbor’s child or a stranger, you need to have  a foresight on how to help a victim and to prevent such from happening to your loved ones. A rape victim is left with several negative effects, this includes but not limited to shock, confusion, pains (physically and emotionally), self pity or blame, regret, depression, fear ( of revealing the secret and  a reoccurrence of the event) worry, anger, insecurity, flashbacks, night mares, helplessness, the thought of suicide and some times escapism (using drugs, alcohol, food or television to try to forget). When the above stated feelings occurs, the next thing to do is not to get disorganized by the negative effects or the shock of the incidence, you must remain calm and get real with the situation and ask yourself ‘’if you want to get out of this mess and be healed’’? Its a tough question  but it’s a step you will eventually come to climb, so rather than spending the moment with endless tears and regrets, be brave and decide not to allow this injury become a permanent scar. A permanent scar is created if the following measures are not handled.
  • Get to a doctor or the hospital or a pharmacy immediately so you can request for contraceptives against pregnancy and for medications against sexually transmitted diseases (STDS). You should also request for anti-retroviral drugs against HIV, you must do this immediately because it takes three days for HIV virus to permanently dwell in its host body, which means it can be expelled from the body with drugs before three days. Also it is vital as  a female to get the nurse or doctor to collect the sperm of the culprit from your female organ, in case you wish to trace the culprit later on. The sperm can be used  in court to prove that a particular person raped you and doctor can examine the victim.
  • Additionally, you should make sure you do not burn or throw away or wash the clothes you were in during the event, instead seal up the clothes in a bag and keep it, this is an established  DNA evidence of the culprit’s finger prints on you and if the DNA matches with the sperm, that perfects it.
  • Please make sure you don’t go home but to the doctor first or the pharmacy. When you eventually get home and keep the clothes as a DNA evidence, its not the best option to call a friend, because you might be calling the wrong person just out of self pity and depression, therefore call no one yet, instead have a hot relaxing bath, it is called thermo therapy, it relaxes the body nerves from stress, especially after having  a rough encounter with the culprit. Its a psychological defence mechanism that symbolizes love to yourself at the moment, i.e you still taking good care of your precious body, rather than looking at your unclean body and doing nothing about it immediately because you feel that the pride of your body has been stolen; honey, its still your body, you don’t have to hate it, you still deserve the best so wash up and rest your body.
  • About telling someone, you need to tell someone,it helps relieves your heart of the burden of the hurting secret, its not to get sympathy but it helps you know that you are not alone and you will be amazed how you heal faster knowing that some persons are there to encourage you to move on. The question becomes whom to tell it to? You can tell it to the police if you decide to press charges but not to a perfectionist or a  verbally proud virgin or a talkative, what you need is a loving friend, it doesn’t matter the sex (male or female), love is a perfect medicine for a broken heart. You can also tell it to a specialist or an experienced friend.
Written by Cynthia Nwokwule