Been thinking on what to tag this topic and then it clicked, this is not to undermine parents in anyway.
They send you to the best schools they can afford, make you comfortable as it is due them, and advice you when you want it or not… don’t we just love the parents? After everything they do for us throughout school, there is just this obligation that burdens some of us, that its our turn to play our part, especially girls, it is time to marry and give them grandchildren (phew!!!!!)
Let us go back to secondary school; when you are about to resume secondary school or some of us university or some were never told… you hear the ancient and always said , ‘dont follow boys’ ( the picture in my head is a mother holding her ear, trying to show you she is serious…lol! why do they do that though?) For me, I can remember my friend and I always said “books before boys because bad boys bring bastard babies”, we tagged it “B”
Lucky you! You graduated with no man trouble or ‘bringing shame to your family’ just before then, they start getting so interested in your friends especially the guys, then all of a sudden, they start asking you if there is anybody, they start giving you your privacy and even encouraging you to go out, if you stay a little longer in their house, then the pressure starts mounting and gosh! Do we hate the pressure or what? The thing about the pressure of marriage, it does not care about location , it can travel thousands of miles and still give the desired effect like you are in front of your parents. ( you most times even see your mothers face while talking on the phone).
They start asking your close friends or siblings if there is any guy? They may even say ‘you don’t tell me anything’ trust me! it is not because they feel you dont tell them anything, they just want to know about the guy or guys in your life and when you are not saying anything they are scared no one is in your life.
I pity you if you act like you are not bothered? You are in soup(trouble) because they will hunt you down with their words, their attitude and with even relatives calling you up saying stuff like ‘when will you bring a son in-law for me o, Abeg I cannot wait to tie igele o? , if you are abroad then thats another story entirely, I can remember my mum went to visit one of my sisters in Cardiff and was complaining that it is so hard to meet a guy there(hahaha)
This is my question, don’t the parent think we also want to get married? or don’t they know it is not easy to get a good man nowadays? The point is this , inasmuch as the parents are worried, we also think of it too, we also want to settle down, get married, bring you lovely grand kids that would make you happy and a son in-law that would be like a son to you, unfortunately, we cannot go out and start chasing the guys, we would do our best and wait for the right guy to come along but while we are waiting, we choose to enjoy life, make the most of being single and not allow being unmarried define us. We understand you are worried because you care for and we love you for that, we can only hope it is not because all your friends kids are getting married…
It will be a good thing, if both of us are not worried together , it will end up in depression with no one to encourage the other, so dear parents we will get married someday and to the right guy, hopefully soon, don’t worry.
From your average single girl.