This may be shocking to a lot of us but do you know your partner is a part of your life, not the whole life.
Most of us once we get into a relationship or marriage we lose our individuality, forgetting before they came into your life, you probably had a life… I guess some people might say, O where are you going with this? We know how you gush about Mr. Possible… Well, I am not saying you should not be head over heels in love with your spouse, I am just asking who are you without them?
A friend was gusting me about her friend in a relationship, everything she does is pretty much based on the guy, with the guy, for the guy, by the guy.
“Funke hope you would make it for the party?”
FUNKE – “I have to run it through Dayo first and hope you know Dayo is invited?”…Dayo don’t like me doing this, Dayo won’t agree to that, Dayo told me to cut my hair, Dayo want my makeup to be so Mild.
So what does Funke want? Funke is almost nonexistent since Dayo came into her life.Married couple
I have to be careful here o, but this is what I think. In as much as you are so in love with your spouse, don’t lose sight of who you are outside them. Imagine he has to move for a temporary business without you, he leaves and you feel, your worth is based on catering to him and without that, you pretty much don’t know what to do with yourself, then you start calling 24-7, every second and minute. It may be cute at the beginning but later may become smothering.
Why not get busy with yourself, do something fun, work on a personal project and that way you guys get what to talk about later.
When your whole life is based on a person that you almost have no identity then a lot can happen in your life.
In a relationship, the hurt when the person breaks up with you is almost impossible to be healed
In marriage at some point, you either bore your spouse with nothing interesting to talk about your day or you smother them by checking their every move.
You feel insecure because every thought is what will happen to me if this person ever walks out.
You choke/ smother the person.
It is an unhealthy relationship, when your life, joy, identity is tied to an individual whereas is beautiful when two individuals who know their identity, explore and make the best of who they are and bring out the best in themselves fall in love.