I pretty much did across boarder relationship with MrPossible the most time of our dating and even though he did not believe in it, I made him a believer..loll. Little did we know we would be doing Long distance in marriage for a bit… I am not of the school of thought that long distance relationship (LDR) is not workable. I believe the distance in any relationship is not easy but it takes two people who knows what they share and are willing to fight for what they have, to make things work… If LDR is hard then long distance in marriage(LDM) is crazy. It is important to know that I am talking about temporary LDM. I really cannot wrap my head around the idea behind permanent LDM, where the man is abroad and his wife and two kids are in Nigeria, with their hope of seeing each other at the mercy of the man. I would personally not advice permanent LDM for any couple or intending couple because in that time a lot can happen to your relationship. My first LDM experience was for three months. It was impossible at the time for me to join MrPossible, it wasn’t the easiest thing to do but we had to make it enjoyable. I would tell you some things that you can do and you should know…
  1. Make the most of your individuality: Being apart is a time for rediscovery. Knowing who you are, what you can do to make your life better… Afterall before the marriage you were first an individual, make the most of this individuality, that dream you had before that you have not been able to put into fusion, use the time apart to try to put things into perspective and possibly jump-start that dream.
  2. Communicate, communicate, communicate!- Communication cannot  be overemphasized, It is the backbone of any relationship, and when you are doing a LDR and LDM, try not to make all your conversation problem-centred or baby-centred, talk about you guys too and get a bit sexy a lot.
  3. Anytime your spouse visits, make the most of it: Bring out those cooking utensils, your Sunday’s  best, and whip him or her an amazing meal also you can give the baby to a babysitter, sister, mother for some hours ,so you guys could catch up, you know what I mean *WINKWINK* I know what you are thinking(spoilt children) I mean movies, gist etc. well, just show your spouse in the best possible way, that they have been missed.
  4. Surprise visits, messages etc are welcomed: It is never old, surprise your spouse by showing up in their location if possible, sending them a thoughtful gift or an amazing message out of the blue…it works like a charm.
  5. Cancel appointments, put on hold what  can be put on hold especially during short visits: Try very well, when your spouse is in  town, isn’t the time to go catch up with your friends, make unneccesary long aproko calls with your friends, making your hubby a babysitter so you would go hang out with your girls
  6. Spouse to-do list: Some of us, as soon as our spouse tells us they are coming to visit, we just prepare everything they have to do, Inshort your spouse kind of knows he/she is going to work so hard when they come…Please before your spouse comes over especially when it isn’t a surprise visit, don’t have a to- do list for them, he shouldn’t start fixing spoilt bulbs, repairing everything, she shouldn’t come and immediately you drive her to the market so she can fix you a meal…cook for a change men and ladies, get a handy guy to fix as much as you can before your spouse comes around.
  7. Spruce up guys!: Some of us act like our spouse visitation is the rapture, meanwhile you knew he./she was coming a long time ago, you act like it just came suddenly, we end up cleaning up ourselves while they are there and some of us don’t even make an effort…let us say your spouse was away for 3months, that was enough time for you to leave your hair undone, and grow hair in every place and bask in it, but when they are coming over, please clean up or do I say spruce up?!  Don’t go all Robinson Crusoe(stuck in a primitive era) Please shave everywhere that has to be, make nice hair, smell nice, let them know what they have missed.
These are the things I have learnt overtime.I hope we learnt a thing or two from this, is there anything you would like to add to this? And tell me how you spice your LDM or LDR.