Have you ever gone through a very tough time that you know you need Jesus and you need him quick? You know you need to apply faith but you have no courage to keep faith, because you have used faith so much and it seem it had yielded no result as things still went south… So this time , you save yourself from hassle, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, asking God questions like ‘why me?’ Praying and believing God for a miracle, this time, you just sit back, continue your relationship with God and never pray about the issue, not because you have entrusted it to his care but you don’t want to dare to even believe, you fear if it doesn’t go as prayed for, you would feel crazy hurt.
I was there last week, I was done keeping faith, I did not want to feel like God let me down if it did not go the way I prayed, I was afraid to trust God and get disappointed. I was acting like my daughter Baby J,Baby J comes to me some times and tries to ask for for something, maybe a candy or a juice box, before she is even done asking, she goes ‘don’t worry, I know you would say No’ Sometimes the only thing she says is mummy, then rounds it off with “never mind, I am sure you would say No”. I have talked to her so many times about it, sometimes I even say yes, so she knows she has to just ask… I noticed it is coping mechanism against disappointment and that is exactly how I felt about my faith, I did not want to expect God to come through so I would not be disappointed at the end. (God never disappoints, he knows what is best for you) So I just kept on going about my daily activity and praying but never felt like mentioning the issue till yesterday.
Yesterday, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Shedrach Mesach and Abednego, we all know the story, where they were picked out to bow to the image of the god of Nebuhdcadnezzer and they refused, they said God would save them but even if he doesn’t, they would not bow down.
I personally feel that was a very great act of faith right there, keep having faith but also trust in the sovereignty of God. Believe and He would answer, believe with all of your heart and if He doesn’t, remember, He hasn’t let you down, because all things still works for your good in the end. Trust God with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.