This may be shocking to a lot of us but do you know your partner is a part of your life not the whole of your life? Who are you outside your spouse, your relationship…Are you living your dreams, are you happy, are you fulfilled?
Most of us once we get into a relationship or marriage we lose our individuality. We forget that before they came into your life, you probably had a life… I guess some people might say, oh where are you going with this? We know how you gush about Mr Possible… Well I am not saying you should not be head over heels in love with your spouse,partner etc but I am just asking who are you without them? Some of us are single and all we are working towards is to be married then our lives can begin, who said your status is all that there is to you,you better start discovering yourself and making the most of who you really are, a marriage will not fix all the missing puzzles in your life, a marriage will not make you accomplished and marriage will not make you totally fulfilled in life…funny right?
A friend was gisting me about her friend in a relationship not even marriage, everything she does is pretty much based on the guy, with the guy, for the guy, by the guy.
“Funke hope you would make it for the party?”
FUNKE – “I have to run it through Dayo first and hope you know Dayo is invited?”…Dayo don’t like me doing this, Dayo won’t agree to that, Dayo told me to cut my hair, Dayo want my makeup to be so Mild.So what about what Funke want? Funke is almost non-existent since Dayo came into her life.
[bctt tweet=”Don’t lose your Identity in marriage but don’t act like a single entity…There should be a balance~~Bride2mom”]
I have to be careful here o, but this is what I think. In as much as you are so in-love with your spouse, don’t lose sight of who you are, we all have our individual assignments, don’t forget that. Imagine he has to move for a temporary business without you. He leaves and you feel, your worth is based on catering to him and without that, you pretty much don’t know what to do with yourself, then you start calling 24-7, every second and minute. It may be cute at the beginning but later may become smothering. Why not get busy with yourself, do something fun, work on a personal project and that way, you guys get what to talk about later.
Things that could happen in a relationship where both individuals don’t know themselves
When your whole life is based on a person that you almost have no identity, then you would miss out on a lot of things
In a relationship – The hurt when the person breaks up with you is almost impossible to be healed.
In marriage -At some point you either bore your spouse with nothing interesting to talk about your day or you smother them by checking their every move.
You feel insecure because every thought is “what will happen to me, if this person ever walks out.
You choke/smother the person.
It is an unhealthy relationship, when your life, joy, identity is tied to an individual whereas, it is beautiful when two individuals who know their identity, explore, make the best of who they are and bring out the best in themselves.
Lack of Purpose, drive and Vision
You don’t have to agree with me, this is just my opinion, do you think your partner should be a part or the whole of you?